In all likelihood, this won't make sense

Inside Jokes & Quotes: 2013

That’d be a great use of the military budget - just get every American a bomber jacket that says “Team America World Police” (Brian)
Adults are just children with too much responsibility (Avery)
I can’t go 7 days without my phone! (Varda) The Jews went 40 YEARS in the desert! (Avery)
Ultimate frisbee is just the most Ithacan sport. I mean, if you’re vegan and wearing wool and have your hair out… and if one team is doing better, you just switch players (Segal)
wishing I could thank you some otherrrrr wayyyyyy OH MY GOD HE MEANS SEX (Chris)
If you try this with a 12-month-old, they’ll just be like “where the fuck’s my juice?”… and then you know they’ll make a great sailor with that kind of nautical language (Mike)
She won’t even enter a suicide pact with me, what kind of friend is she?! (Chris)
He’s like the combination of a movie villain and a cabbage patch doll (Chris)
Denway or Normark (Avery)
Kennen Sie Grumpy Cat? (Gilgen)
We stayed at a brothel by accident. I was 11 (Spencer)
Wow. Wow. I like your flair, girl! The only other person I’ve ever said “wow” to was Elvis Presley (old man at Boston Common)
your hair doesn’t work as a beacon at conventions! (John)
A well-known vampire was returning to the region, apparently, so people were fleeing (Mihailo)
I can’t see the future, I just work there (The Doctor)
fuel the arts with human conflict! (Avery)
Unless you were having sex or something, I don’t want to hear about it (Lena) But I was! (Can)
I dont’ have a reason, I’m literally the sorting hat (Henri)
The rabbit understands me, we’re the same color (Brian)
He doesn’t have friends, he has “esteemed colleagues” (on Marc)
Rose, don’t freak out, but there’s a person dressed as a cat in the window (Chris)
I just want to be a yuppie. I want to be the people they make fun of in American Psycho (Chris)

Inside Jokes & Quotes: 2012

She looks like an asparagus! (Rachelle) Please explain how a person could possibly resemble an asparagus (me)
The internet owns my soul, it’s like in the cloud with Google docs. It’s okay though, I shared it with you so you have access! (Avery)
Don’t have kids, it’s overrated (Chris’s dad)
Life is too short to be one person (Chris)
You’ve got a taser (Universal cop #1) Yeah, but you’ve got your manly voice (Universal cop #2)
He’s a man and a lesbian, neither of which should be pregnant (Chris commenting on Misfits)
It’s like a weird biological mistake that you’re not a lesbian. You’re clearly supposed to be one (Chris)
So I’m having these conversations I’ve had high with hippies but in a college classroom. (Tom)
Hi, I’m boy-Thora. (Chris)
A Nokia phone is the best symbol for love. It lasts forever. (Avery)
I was doing algorithms in my goddamn sleep. I just wanted it to END. (Spencer)
I’m so sad the 14-year-old security guard isn’t here (me) I know, it’d be like “Awwww cute” if he tried to arrest us (Chris)
Of the two of us, it’s more obvious that I don’t like girls. (Chris)
I want a radar detector so I can feel like a spy when I’m driving! (Avery)
It’s a well-known show, I promise! (Chris) Maybe in your circles… (Fatima)
People think that cynicism is like intellectual badassery. No, actually you’re a prick (Chris)
[re-entering the US from Canada] Where are you coming from? (border cop) Canada (Avery)
We were under the influence of nothing but science (Chris)
A man in a red jumpsuit told us he liked our clothing. You know we’ve got style. (Chris)
How do I fix this? (Brian) Well, mostly it’s your personality (Avery)
And there were readings of anarchist steampunk erotica (Tom)
Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing. ICH LIEBE DICH ♥ (Rachelle)
We’ve decided all Icelandic names sound incredibly metal (mysterious text message) Who is “we”? (me) Torchwood. (mysterious text message. aka Suraj)
Those Venezuelan guys reminded me of my uncle. I guess when you hang out with Saudi royalty too much… (Mihailo)
You guys are like two weird dinosaurs trying to fornicate (James)
He was surprised we used the “l-word” (Avery) what “l-word”? (me) “love”. or maybe it was “lesbian” (Avery)
I just found another psych/german double major with an alternative aesthetic. You’re a TYPE, Thora. (Chris)
Poor Thora’s found people as weird as she looks. (Chris)
Some flies are too awesome for the wall (Abed)
Footnotes for the spoken word! (Avery)
I have never listened to anyone who criticized my taste in space travel, sideshows, or gorillas. When this occurs, I pack up my dinosaurs and leave the room. (Ray Bradbury)
*finds window shade thing* This car is made for goth kids! (Maddie)
She stole dying children’s internet (Sophie)
The population of Iceland’s around 300,000. (me) That is less than 1/3rd the population of New Hampshire. (Neil) 300,000? That is the population of my apartment in India. (Suraj)
I’m a dainty man! (Avery)
Are you breaking up with your car? (Buffy) Well it did seduce me. All red and sporty. (Giles) Little two-door tramp. (Buffy) - S5E2
The more Buffy I watch, the more I want to be Spike’s best friend. We could trade leather jackets and Ramones CDs and it would be awesome. (me)
*holding pants* I’M TRYING TO FIND THE ENTRANCE (Avery)
Thora how do I dress for work?! What is fashion o God why didn’t I major in clothing (Avery)
*watching a blues video on YouTube* Oh my god I know that guy! He was in Kalli’s class! The C class! He was a mega commie! (Dad)
and then she told me I had arousing ears (Eveliina)
You must get rid of those 19th century ideas about the laws of nature. We make the laws of nature. (1984)
my alcohol is currently in a bush outside of a church (Chris)
When I was a coal miner… (Paul)
It’s communal! I’m a communist, you know this (Paul)
There are homicidal appliances in Glasgow. Not just the people (Laura)
Your mental age is 19? Mine is, like, 6. (Daniel) That’s cuz you’re a man (Cristina)
Mexico? Do you know anyone in a cartel? (Daniel)
The world is what you make of it … unless you’re schizophrenic. In which case, the world is what everyone else makes of if.
(livestock and their environments) You know what’s a cruel and harsh environment? Fucking NATURE (Chris)
Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything (Cat’s Cradle)
I can only wear skinny ties. I’m too punk rock for this shit. (Chris)
One day, my hormones will kick in and I’ll just say “curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal” (me)
[playing psychiatrist] are you all people you wouldn’t want to share a pint with? (Gareth)
What does this say? (Danish man) “You can get get AIDS from salad” (Kaylinn) Nooo, you can’t get AIDS from salad (Danish man)
There is a set of occurrences I think should be entitled “encounters with my own subculture” (me)
Imagine Mexican nuns! Do they have habits that are also ponchos? Or NUNBREROS? (Chris)
So you’re saying she performed a sexual hit-and-run on you? (me) Exactly! No one else understands! (Matt)
Your name is awesome! It’s like Thor but sexy! (Avery)

Inside Jokes & Quotes: 2011

When I die, I want the carbon in my body to be compressed into a diamond! (Sam)
I’m at least less eccentric than Thora! (Sam)
you look so ominous (me) it’s a problem, I have to go to a support group for it - ominous anonymous (Sam)
so, if we ever actually had a babby, would it star in an RPG game because of the elvish bloodline? (Avery)
[picking majors] It’s hard being a nerd. I like everything! (Joe)
That looks like it was built before workers had rights (Chris)
WHY do you have that? Did you download the internet? (Mihailo)
Has anyone ever likened your voice to the north star? (Mihailo to Chris)
You’re like the Hot Topic version of Brian (Chris)
Lion King dress and your goth military jacket. Clearly you’re an African militant (Chris)
I think I just accidentally took part in a protest. My conservative roots are so upset. (Weston)
I love how you’re dressed as a guerilla hippie (Avery)
Stealing doors
Ave- (James) NO *slams door into James’s face* (Avery)
There’s only so much I can hug with my arms! So then I have to hug with my mouth. (Avery)
Avery’s Law: tangents will eventually lead to CUDDLES (Avery)
Chris locking himself out on the first day back, fire escape ladder, sleeping on the couch
They sent out an email about a suspicious person lurking about the dorm at 4 in the morning. That was me. (Chris)
You’re the only one I call “babe”. No, wait, I call Alex that, too. (Avery) Yeah, actually, you do… (Alex)
I tried speaking Danish with my mouth full of food once, and my enunciation was spot on (Kaylinn)
“I’d much rather be happy than right” (Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy)
“They have, like, Vlad the Impaler hair” [speaking of Green Lantern aliens] (Chris) “What exactly does that look like, Chris? Do tell.” (me)
I’m not a serious person! WHY DO PEOPLE TAKE ME SERIOUSLY? I don’t want responsibilities! (Avery)
Why does it look like you’re in some Indian den or the Companion’s capsule in Firefly? (Avery) Did you just call me a prostitute? (me)
watching Jeremy Clarkson roll a Reliant Robin over and over again: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=QQh56geU0X8

Inside Jokes & Quotes: 2010

Someday my prince will come…in CONVERSE HIGHTOPS! (Lizy - comment on Dornröschen)
wouldn’t think she’s the valedictorian, would you? (michelle’s dad after surveying my outfit consisting of all black attire)
you’re being too effeminate… put your metal face on! (Drew)
would you like to make a penis out of clay? (Kayla)
you know what’s a weird word? fork (me) spoon (nora) SPORK (in unison)
“Bodies are just machines. Your mind is what you are.” (Alex - Khaos ch 6 pg 63)
Kaylinn: sluttt :D Me: um. what. Kaylinn: sorry. I couldn’t remember if I had verbally abused you today. so I had to make up for it. :)
*annika hits kaylinn over the head with a notebook* ms frie: ANNIKA! TIME OUT!
survivor themes: Annika: trapped on a desert island! Me: teleportation into a different dimension!
We figured two permits add up to a license (jake)
if you hear it now, you’re hallucinating, ‘cause i turned the volume off (sevo)
If you have the choice between a roast duck and a shit sandwich, you’re gonna choose the duck. (Erik, explaining why he’d ditched Skelly to talk to me)
if traveling with two or more children, decide which one you love best & help that one first - stewardess
kayla, were you aware that your car has a tramp stamp? - me
internet troll personified!
i made out with a lot of people that night… ashley, sarah, chase, some random dude in a miniskirt…. - michelle
that’s salt, thora, don’t eat that - michelle
well i’m responsible and you’re an adult… together we make a responsible adult! - me to michelle
(parallel parking) i nailed it! (me) that was a sexual conquest for thora (sam)
then turn left (me) ok, turn left. always turn left. and don’t blink (michelle) precisely (me)
i’m coming down from that coke high…. wait (sam)
is this how time NORMALLY passes? reaallly slowly? and in the right order (11th doctor)
hypnotism at the senior party: kaylinn is convinced she has 11 fingers *cries*
catchphrase: BURQA
grad party: let’s meander/creep from room to room (sam) let’s see how many people we can fit on this couch! awkward two-pat hugs!
what, you don’t like love polygons? (sam) no, once relationships develop geometry, you know you have a problem (me)
so… it’s like gay friends with benefits? (michelle’s dad)
what would happen if you sat with death and offered it a cup of tea? (The Sensei)
HERE IS A SMALL FACT: You are going to die. I am in all truthfulness attempting to be cheerful about this whole topic, though most people find themselves hindered in believing me, no matter my protestations. Please, trust me. I most definitely can be cheerful. I can be amiable. Agreeable. Affable. And that’s only the A’s. Just don’t ask me to be nice. Nice has nothing to do with me. (Death - The Book Thief)
Just because something is funny doesn’t mean it isn’t serious (Jon Gnarr)
At 11, he decided school was useless to his future as a circus clown or pirate and refused to learn any more (June 26, 2010 NYT article about Jon Gnarr’s victory in the race for Reykjavik mayor)
[at Margaret’s favorite comic shop] Hi, I’m Joe. I’m her drug dealer.
(Chris) Escorts: bringing the street corner to you!
(Laurel) I was about to be really stupid. I almost asked you if they have Emergen-C in England
[Spirited Away] *girl hugs dragon’s face* (Margaret) Furries! *girl lies in bed shaking* (Laurel) They beat me! …. so many dildos.
[Majang] (me) Is this Chinese or Japanese? (Ro) Chinese. But as a sport it’s just asian. (me) Like Starcraft?
*bother* *Laurel ducks out of the way* *I flail* (Laurel) YOU PUNCHED ME IN THE TEMPLE.
(me) You ass. (Laurel) Don’t you mean ‘arse’? You can’t pick & choose your accent.
(Grandpa) I thought we were in a major economic recession. Why, then, can’t I find a parking spot at the mall?
story of my dad’s crazy best friend: “So he went to Canada. He couldn’t speak English, but he could drive a bulldozer, so it was ok. Until he misunderstood what he was supposed to do and bulldozed an entire forest instead of just making a path through it.”
life would suck if everyone was like you.. I should rephrase that (Bjössi)
Range Rover owners are like wives of alcoholics (Bjössi)
Look, an elf church! (me) Are they Christian? (grandpa)
I’m not fucking done yet! // Free music all night! All you need is food and a little bit of drugs and you’ll be ok. (Billie Joe Armstrong, Aug. 7 2010)
I guess we’re not grown up enough for Bud Heavy (Frank Turner, Aug. 8 2010)
Look at all that spacetime! Go forth and consume! (me. context: there were a lot of grapes)
watch your katana, stupid!
use your feminine wiles…. ok I probably have more of those than you do (Chris)
DIE DIE KILL IT WITH FIRE (Chris)
Unit 2’s chipmunk
I don’t like phlegm-based languages (Chris)
Who was that? Please don’t bring him again. (our lot)
(speaking of bombings in eastern Europe in the 90s) That must’ve hit close to home. HAHA LITERALLY (Chris to Mihailo)
People always ask me if I’m religious when I say I’m a religious studies major. Then I just say, “you’re an Asian studies major. Are you Asian? NO.” (Tom. while standing in a tree eating a banana)
You’re really embodying 70s rebel youth culture, aren’t you? (Ian)
(speaking of Jane Austen) and with each book comes a new circle of Hell (Mihailo)
No, you smell too good to be a punk (Avery) Of course, all punks have to smell of gasoline & anarchy (me)
I just don’t like killing things (me) God, you’re so weird, Thora (Mihailo)
No, that’s too weird even for a parallel universe (Kelly) Dude, that would be a fucking PERPENDICULAR universe (me)
Happy 90th birthday!
FOURTH WALL
Would I be a dear and pick up that piece of banana you fucking threw at me? I THINK NOT. (Chris to Rose)
See, Celine Dion is like clipart - she makes everything shit (Chris)
I glad no one saw me see that (Roselle)
my brother might be there. *looks pointedly at Kelly* Hands off. (Mihailo)
Well doesn’t someone look like a Japanese fetish today? (Chris)
I’ve gained 8 pounds! (Kelly) 8 pounds? That’s like… a baby (Rose)
the let’s-make-Thora-uncomfortable-game
Before I got sick, I was going to be you for Halloween. I was going to put a purple streak in my hair, and have the suspenders and carry around a cutout of Voldemort (Mihailo)
you’re actually clinically insane (me) broccoli! (Michelle)
*snows* What the fuck? What is this shit? I wake up and it’s like I’m in motherfucking Narnia. (Chris)
If you develop any more of these fandoms, you should just get an ‘honorary fag’ badge (Chris)
You want anarchy? I’ll shoot you in the face! (Chris)
My phone doesn’t know the word ‘hanging’… (Thora) Clearly your phone is just trying to prevent suicide (Margaret)
See, coolness is a circle. You’ve gone so far down nerd that you’ve reached supercool. (Avery)

Inside Jokes & Quotes: 2009

Royle: when was the last time you saw a lunch man?
jimmy carr (on top gear): (talking about ‘falling rocks’ signs) they may as well just have a sign that says ‘random accidents ahead, life’s a lottery, be lucky’
the doctor (ten): ‘yes , i’ll just step into this police box and arrest myself’ (planet of the dead)
sonja: what would i do without you & your sarcasm? me: drown in a sea of optimism, probably.
mr williams: so who did their homework? rachelle: i did! i’m morally superior!
(torchwood ep2 s2) owen: well, how do you know all that? ianto: i know everything.. and it says so on the bottom of the screen
Rosencranz: anyway, i don’t believe in it.. Guildenstern: what? R: England. G: What is it, then, a conspiracy of cartographers?
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
The IRS.
The IRS who?
The IRS has come to repossess your house. Knock knock?
Who’s there?
Get out of our fucking house.
michelle’s dad: consider it oppression by the man. me: but then we HAVE to resist
they [the science kids] probably discuss their favorite polyatomic ions - karen
the doctor season 2 ep 13: they can shoot me dead, but the moral highground is MINE
margaret: “i probably won’t remember this conversation later. i’m on narcotic drugs” me” “are narcotics supposed to do that?” margaret: “no. my brain chemistry’s just fucked up”
alice: “ugh, this oatmeal is so bland. i’m gonna put some sugar on it” … margaret: “alice. that’s salt.” alice: “FUCK”
[at the top of a roller coaster] margaret: “oh shit oh shit oh shit” me: “shit.” rob: “fuck. me.”
rob [points at ferris wheel]: “Scariest ride in the park”
Tenth Doctor: “D’ya need this?” [offers him the sonic screwdriver] Fifth Doctor: “Nah, I’m fine.” Tenth Doctor: “Oh, no, of course. You mostly went hands-free didn’t you? Like, ‘Hey, I’m the Doctor. I can save the universe using a kettle and some string! And look at me, I’m wearing a vegetable!’” [Doctor Who - Time Crash]
Shepherd: if you take sexual advantage of her, you’re going to burn in a very special level of hell. a level they reserve for child molesters. and people who talk at the theater. [firefly - ep 6]
a government is a body of people - usually notably ungoverned [firefly - ep 10]
wash: that sounds like science fiction! zoe: you’re living in a spaceship, dear [firefly - ep 14]
Tenth Doctor [voyage of the damned] alons-y alonso!
“i’m not angry, i’m disappointed! - well put the knife down then!” - doctor benjy
musical previews: “JOEY. THEY KISSED!”
the curtain opens. and NO ONE IS THERE.
michelle: misery is always more fun when you have someone to share it with
jake: i think she’s horny. joe: he talks like that? jake: after 10

Inside Jokes & Quotes: 2008

where are you going? ~FAR AWAY FROM THIS HELL-HOLE! (kaylinn)
WHAT DO YOU WANT?! ~excuse me? ~oh, crap, sorry i thought you were colton (ryan to rachelle’s mom)
ryan freaking out over lego land like a two year old (can i go? please?!)
rachelle and i listening to techno music during flex… and having a two person dance party
when kaylinn stole my spot on the bed when i went to go and move her and i had to crash on kyla and annika’s
ms swenson: if i close the door you’ll smell varnish. i’d rather have you cold than high.
mr lynn: it doesn’t really have any resources. just there it is. it’s chad.
it’s so cute when guys make valentines together! (rachelle)
why is everything i want in your shirt? that came out wrong! (colton)
jump off a ladder
muffin!
remember last semester when you never said anything? i miss those days… (ms swenson to austin)
give me a buzz - is that a drug reference? (kaylinn’s dad)
kaylinn and talia’s “acid trip” (standing in front of the projector during the psychedelic tie-dye-like credits of across the universe)
you’re a donkey (you did NOT just reference shrek 2 please tell me you didn’t!)
michelle: usually my phone is like a tumor stuck to my ass. it vibrates too!
rachelle: the wall just moved i swear!
when sam went too close to the raku kiln and the pockets of his jacket melted
annika: hey thora you should sell all your possessions and sail around the world! you could sell your computer, your guitar, and your parents’ fridge… me: sell your own fridge! spencer: or we could stick tavo in a crate and ship him off to sudan where we can sell him as a slave
when we were trying to crush a pop can with my math book and annika hit it and the can flew like 15 feet and hit josh theiss in the face
mr lynn: (explaining wwi) the germans had a foolproof plan - if war breaks out anywhere in europe ATTACK FRANCE! and then the germans invaded belgium, so the belgians fought back and were just shooting the germans with their hunting rifles and the germans thought that was rather rude…
mr lynn: and the british said to the germans - it’s war. deal with it.
casey: woodraw wilson - wait didn’t he work at the checkout stand at lunds before he was president? talia: no that was bush.
annika: i don’t have strange hallucinations! my hallucinations are perfectly normal!
those who can’t do, teach. those who can’t teach, teach gym. (school of rock) - ms willing should teach gym
normal is a setting on the dishwasher
the ides of march = doing the nasty with your neighbor (or so lynn says)
the only reason brutus killed caesar was because they were rival pimps (once again according to lynn)
FOOD FIGHT! (now it’s spencer’s turn to throw the nut! BANANA FIGHT!)
whenever my cousin dislocates his shoulder he just runs himself into a wall and it’s all fixed
your bestest buddy is here! kaylinn: where’s benny?!
maren gave me x2 for christmas… on march 31st… on a video tape - how awesome is that?! (where do you even buy tapes anymore?)
spencer: you look like a nerd carrying that tape around
michelle’s hair turned from hot pink to salmon-colored. lets call her shrimp! or krill! (annika)
lynn’s skin is blue! she has the blubonic plague :) pun intended
almost falling asleep in the hallway while standing up
where’s my chair? ~ it disapparated (duh)
drawing bears on the windows of anna’s van
aahhh! she’s attacking me with a wall!
guitar hero - the pubis effect
folding the air mattress in half and bouncing on it - air mattress sandwich!
flying lemur hug!
spencer is houdini!
mr lynn: “you can’t just have a terrorist bake sale. you can’t be like ‘come in buy some cookies - all proceeds go to terrorism.’ no it doesn’t work like that”
mr lynn: “and in the 1920s they were like ‘the new improved kkk - expanded hate list!’”
who’s on first?
casey: “i thought fdr stood for ‘fat dumb republicans’”
rachelle “i don’t have a family!” me “you sound like a pathetic orphan in an orphanage” rachelle “maybe i am!”
mr lynn: “fdr’s middle name was actually delano” ~casey: “named after the great city”
frau diercks: “yeah russian food… i dunno caviar, vodka, and potatoes!”
rachelle: “and then the sock market crashed!”
annika attacked my muffin!
david bezenar saying “give me sexy” in a really creepy voice
spencer: why did the pirate go to the r-rated movie? oh crap
mr buch: now we’re gonna look at some joints - BONE joints - i saw how some of you looked up just there - now i know who you are!
spencer to annika: “actually your parents sold you to the gypsies”
kyla: “can i say it’s against my religion to dissect things?” mr buch: “you’d have to have some pretty good evidence” me: “kyla, you might want to run down to the library and research religions real quick… i think druidism or hinduism might work…”
mr buch: “no my kid’s not a freak!”
mr lynn: “Brown Shirts doesn’t mean they were like attacking people with laundry…”
kaylinn pretending to hate her pizza just to piss kyla off
rachelle’s 16th birthday - going to the park at like 10 pm - the cop car drove away to follow anna and maren when there were 6 of us sneaking suspiciously around
being chased by a hobo trying to get back to rachelle’s house from the park
me to rachelle: “search within the depths of your mind” anna: “what depths?!”
me: “my earrings keep getting stuck on my necklace” ryan: “well if your earrings didn’t resemble the continent of africa…”
the musical note pen
highlighter buddy!
the communal cookie
accounting isn’t the same every day, there’s different numbers!
alexia: “who wants to help alexia study for math?” annika: “nose game!” (and alexia does the nose game)
crystal + sean connery
annika opening the bathroom door on kaylinn with her flower and kaylinn screaming bloody murder
they don’t really seem like the scaring children types but i dunno
rachelle trying to hitch a ride on mr buch’s golf cart during the bio field study
rachelle: my sternum hurts!
shooting pixie sticks
drama club: haunted house - plague theme w/ zombie kyla killing me, drama games - luke being hitler and hannah montana at the same time, lynn: would you like to see our selection of dead bodies?
the claw
valium = acid (death at a funeral)
buying candy @ joann fabrics
history, english & German videos [it’s 2 minutes and 30 seconds of PURE WIN. it’s so terrible]
movie night
annie and camille running me over with their chairs at lunch
the chair wheels - in the ceiling :D
the affiliation
blow horns at gs camp! grete getting liquid nitrogen on her hands when the back flew off
one way street
“just think of x-men” (me trying to explain mutations to anna s)
the amazing bread anni got from luke
“silly bolou” (annika being VERY hyper)
jordan, michael & ruby’s english video on greek customs (DRUM)
the watergate video - annika spitting “champagne” all over everyone, the shady al capone outfits - TRENCHCOATS!
“so my lesbian feelings for you are completely normal” (rachelle to maren)
“make awkward sexual advances not war” (rachelle)
a priest with the initials kkk
“i can’t wait to go to germany and drink mineral water all the time. i love that stuff. it’s like crack to me” (rachelle)
ellipse vs eclipse
me & michelle hitting each other on the head with water bottles
incompetent high fives
hanging out under our tree waiting for the buses
mr orono - NINJAS
NI! (or nie)
“if you write a letter to the president you’ll use better vocab” (ms willing) “well not with our president…” (jordan) “we’re not bashing on anyone in here!!!” (ms willing)
raiding….honorable?
me & lynn yelling at annika in german
riding on the back of anna’s car and waving like princesses
getting scarred for life by “superbad”
kyla telling me not to die in germany
“you could cut off all your hair” (me) “but then i’d look like a lesbian” (rachelle) “well it would match your behavior” (me)
Jack chewing on people’s limbs
Basco managing to hold 2 kongs in his mouth at once
when i threw my shoe at michelle and actually hit her
learning useless words such as “steghose” and “stereo-farbfernsehgerät”
trying to go over the sled jump and faceplanting in the snow
when that 12 year old kid asked anni for her number
mjeh
the awkward bio video - whale noises
taking action shots off chairs at camp and having air duels
my alter ego luna harrison
watching little kid movies in german and english (shrek 3 and toy story)
kaylinn’s rather scandalous english costume
annika’s evil hello dolly blouse with the demonic buttons
kyla’s fish face
kyla’s face during dissections
when kaylinn scratched her car the 1st day she got it
“make good choices!”
when austin hid in a garbage can
“a good friend will lend you her umbrella when it’s raining. but a BEST friend like me will steal yours and run a way with it screaming ‘run bitch your gettin wet!’”
Peter from study hall writing in ryan’s yearbook just to piss him off “hey i was in your history class. ps i left a dead carp in your yard”
chasing tornadoes? that’s like chasing the nazis if you’re a jew! - me
wanna know something funny? i don’t give a damn! - kaylinn
my parents had to bribe me with stickers to put my pants on - rachelle
spencer beating the crap out of us at the james bond game (3 against 1)
spencer! NO FLYING! - annika (while losing very badly at james bond)

DEUTSCHLAND 2008:
- - Airport MSP:
  - the playground
  - the funny guy at the store
  - “i like to bite off their arms and suck on them” (rachelle - teddy grahams)
  - confusion over the word “Pass” (as opposed to “Reisepass”)
  - Plane ride
  - rachelle: “i have a long-term illness”, me: “stupidity’s a long-term illness?”
  - Rüdesheim
  - the shady hotel with our creepy hallway and the awkward shower
  - the creepy guy with the bucket
  - PONYLAND EXISTS
  - the Erdbeerfest
  - that had nothing to do with strawberries
  - Nessie (the coolest ride EVER) - 3x
  - bumper cars - 5x
  - 10 different bars in one alley
  - the sweet narrow staircase in Marksburg (winding to the right of course)
  - we love narrow staircases, doorways, tunnels and alleys!
  - Koblenz
  - finding the shady part of town
  - the erotic store….?
  - finding a diskothek!
  - Oberammergau
  - the lady @ the ice cream store
  - Watching fußball with allison, linsay, sonja, lynn and rachelle
  - trying to pay for dinner @ the italian restaurant - NOT good
  - rachelle: “i like to suck on things” - well that didn’t come out wrong or anything
  - dinner
  - macaroni noodles - ELF EARS (but frau d. didn’t know!)
  - rotkohl - ground up dark wizard
  - potatoes - griffin eggs
  - steak - unicorn
  - Neuschwanstein
  - finding dangerous and precarious places to clime
  - the cool doors and secret passageways
  - the wicked throne room and bedroom
  - the funny tour guide
  - “screwboy”
  - München
  - U- and S-Bahn
  - the sweet second-hand shop
  - watching MORE FUßBALL
  - bike tour
  - surfers
  - Dave the tour guide pretending to be russian
  - Dave almost falling off the bridge
  - what? university cost 700 euros a semester?! Berlin’s free!
  - Ehingen
  - old mini with a HUGE german flag…that fell off
  - goat fight!
  - the goat who kept getting his horns stuck in the fence
  - coco’s short-terms memory loss
  - WHY is there a broom museum?!
  - Schwäbisch - WHY?!
  - ryan calling mn “painfully drab as hell”
  - Ulm
  - wallaby!
  - climbing all 768 steps to the top of the cathedral
  - Rothenburg
  - the night watchman and his store
  - we went to HELL
  - Lynn making a chorus of cats in the toy store
  - Lynn: “i just sliced your head off. i think you should be more concerned” Sonja: “i’m too dead to care!”
  - (pigeons) sonja: “rats with legs” me: “don’t you mean wings?”
  - the fold-up postcard book that rachelle threw in my face
  - finding normal water!
  - the guitar shop with the glass-like ibanez
  - walking along the wall
“it’s like hummus - only with blueberries” (michelle)
“OH MY GOD! ALL YOUR WALLS ARE DIFFERENT COLORS!” (michelle - after being in my room for about 5 hours)
(me) “i wish the real world had dragons - wouldn’t life be so much more exciting?” (rachelle) “yes!!” (me) “i know!” (rachelle) “i want one!” (me) “me too! that would be the coolest thing ever!” (rachelle) “and then we could have dragon wars!” (me) “haha mine would beat yours. it would be bigger. and have more lethal fire” (rachelle) “psht bull shit”
“this whole conspiracy thing is a lot more intense when you’re in the middle of it” (jack hodgins - bones episode 15 season 1)
“why are american accent so hideous?” (me) ”cuz americans are hicks and can’t talk right” (joe)
“dark sorcerers suck, man” (jack hodginds bones ep. 19 s. 1)
“one death is a tragedy. a million is a statistic” (stalin)
(joe) haha, you don’t want to end up like ms. hudgins? (me) dear god no (joe) haha (me) i’d rather end up like picasso or something. but thats not gonna happen so…..(joe) haha, i’ll be friends with the next picasso! haha (me) hahaha nice that would be incredibly fun to say to random people (joe) haha, it’d be awesome. i could just brag of my affiliation with you, even if you were a raving lunatic
herring: “take that with you in case you get hassled by the man”, blake: “ms boyd?”
(annika to rachelle): “are you trying to pass of ‘fuckhead’ as a form of endearment?!”
“okay, i’m a genius and i’m confused” (brennan, bones ep. 6 season 4)
michael: you had to do ALL those problems? are you kidding me? i would end myself
herring: caesar salad - would you like dressing with that or BLOOD?!
michelle (after seeing a sign that said jesus attracted strange types): THORA! you’re JESUS!
michelle: and this is me NOT on drugs
lynn: thora, i have a drinking problem
rachelle: oh crap, he’s still tied to my bed
frau d: what are some ways to agree with someone? dan: JA!
sam: have you ever wondered what barnacles are thinking? “oh shit OH SHIT LOW TIDE!”
sam: i put enough glaze on this to suffocate a whale
MANFRED
alles nur geklaut & mein fahrrad - greatest songs EVER
when kaylinn came home & her house smelled like pot & then accused her mother of smoking pot only to find out that it was sage incense
me: no one loves me. i didn’t get any flowers. (katie gives me a flower) me: yay! i’m loved! (my flower breaks at the moment i celebrate) fancy: here, i’ll duct tape it back together
luke: yes, let’s just blame EVERYTHING on fancy!
techie “drinking party” - passing around the bottle of sparkling grape juice and monika’s “drunken” rambling
me to annika: kaylinn’s stooped to a new low. “made you look” jokes.
(rachel has just pulled off her shirt) lynn: honey, i don’t think i’m ready for this kind of commitment!
herring: i’ve never read anything so blunt from kyla - ‘justinian was a pansy ass’ and ‘theodora was blamed for the plague cuz she was a whore’
me: why didn’t your parents take him [take tavo to chicago] annika: b/c he has a chess tournament he can’t miss!
picture day - mr benson: letters O through Z to the mezzanine - hey that spells OZ!
mr benson: anyone interested in starving children…
joe: i don’t even now why i do drama… me: drama is like drugs. you know it’s bad for you and it’ll make your head hurt, but it’s just so effing addicting.
one cannot argue with the cynic. it is unwise to offer him battle. for in the warfare of logic it will be found that he has all the guns. (G Wilson Knight)
when all else fails, google it (me)
i just hurt myself doing a simple zen exercise. SAD. (me)
TURTLE BREATHING BUDDIES FOR LIFE! (kaylinn)
i love schizophrenic techno music (sam) yeah, it’s kinda like being auditorily electrocuted (me)
w/ a smartcar if you get hit by a bicyclist you’re dead (me)
(speaking of build-a-bear) so where did the heart end up? (sonja) i dunno, me & rachelle each put one in. he has 2 hearts. HE’S A TIME LORD! (me)
bruce: aaahh it went out! [sprays alcohol over everything]….now don’t you do that…
when kaylinn hid under my car & then grabbed my leg
annika: [point to kyla] she’s a raincloud [points to me] she’s an ACID raincloud
sam (to sonja): you would make a great amputee
ernest (to andrea): do we need to have the drug talk again?
annika: i’m in such a good mood today! me: yeah, it’s kind of annoying
the finger of realization!
anticipative…
rachelle: what is maren wearing today? annika: CORNED BEEF & CABBAGE
john green: nerd life is so much better than normal life
Sycorax Leader: “Blood control is just one form of conquest. I could summon the armada and take this world by force!” The Doctor: “Well… you could do that. Yeah, you could do that. Of course you could! But why? Look at these people, these human beings. Consider their potential! From the day they arrive on the planet, blinking, step into the sun, there is more to see than can ever be seen, more to do than- no, hold on. Sorry, that’s The Lion King”

Inside Jokes & Quotes: 2007

german videos!!! - marco hat zwei hobbies - autos und mädchen, mein bein! es ist so steif
watch your fucking language!
grand lodge - rachelle’s birthday party
rachelle hanging halfway out the window to play the waving game
writing upside-down
! ist geil
fugly and fannoying
the horrors of masterworks - blech
learn to read with pooh - kaylinn
learn math with pooh - annika
i need some toilet paper! (middle of the night @ spencer’s house)
playing bs in flex
rachelle: i forgot they were there! (lockers)
kaylinn and anni trying to get static off the bathroom stalls
me rockin’ the drums with ms recher on bass and mr arnold singing at a church in emily’s really weird dream
when cady accidently hit me in the face
rachelle’s psycho websites - shiny things and suckers
when rachelle was pulling me backwards up the stairs and i stepped on her foot and gave her a big, ugly bruise - oops
mr arnold’s psycho baby
mr arnold’s awesome stories - evil born child
rachelle’s crime deterrent phone
awkwaaaard macbeth movie
the beatle named sam (kaylinn’s ignorance)
it’s a onesy! (rachelle)
coco is ripped! (spencer)
anni and kaylinn going to the bathroom off the side of the boat
spencer’s crazy cat tucker attacking thin air
ninapoof!
chinese fire drill
when the window fell out of the van door during the chinese fire drill
me trying to jump out of the gap where the window used to be during another chinese fire drill and falling on the ground
driver’s ed - the funny crash videos, the road-raged old deacon with the crossbow, games of hangman and not paying attention, “scandinavians are passive aggressive” , elephant seal beating up the car
petting the little alligator on the docks in wayzata w/ rachelle
having leaves thrown at me while biking (thanks, spencer)
-run! ~i’m on a bike! wouldn’t that be weird to run in a sitting position?! (it is actually)
don’t make fun of me because i’m beautiful! (spencer)
locusts! (mr buch chasing rachelle with a jar of dead locust b/c he wanted her to smell them b/c they apparently smell like chocolate)
what does the bfg mean? (maren) the big fucking giant. (rachelle)
Käse freak
rachelle & i carrying each other & rachelle dropping me @ homecoming (onto concrete - very painful)
“i can’t stress how much that kid looks like a monkey” (kaylinn)
rachelle is a cyber-stalker
the kiss of death!
rachelle sounds like a train
spencer spitting in the lake and watching the minnows follow it
les mis - shooting sugar, becky: water! & wikki wikki! & deer brain, annika: boob sausage
colton and ryan with nail polish on
club wemtel (with our amazing crowns)
tp colton’s car! and driving it away…and the car alarm going off…twice…
what are you being for halloween emily? ~ i’m being me, emily hill, the preppy, annoying slut (IRONY)
annika giving tyler good boyfriend lessons
coconuts!
making colton shop at wet seal (and get stuff)
activate calculator power!
i don’t like beets! i hate beets!… i don’t wanna be charming!, it’s you dammit (-jimmy as horace in hello dolly)
it’s too dangerous!, ripple,ripple,ripple, good lord the place is crawling with men, i’ll never get over it…(-sarah as dolly)
holy cabooses! (-joe as barnaby)
cherries and feathers, cherries and feathers (-sally as minnie)
charlie’s facial expression during ellen’s solo in the hat shop
be a man - put on your own mascara! (lizy)
becky’s attempt at “scouts honor”
becky’s baby voice and singing veggietales songs
cast parties! (the dancing couch, annika killing me in all of luke’s pics)
cast gifts!
jason’s personalized post-its
“son of the greatest country on earth [germany]” (jason)
jason’s kiss marks
2 floor conversation
it’s not human anymore - they’ve created a monster!
rachelle’s a mutant!
isn’t micah like the feminine form of mike?

Inside Jokes & Quotes: 2006

rachelle falling up the stairs
rachelle collapsing in math
ben trying to copy my programming
closing the basement door and knocking back
rachelle zoning out - SPOON!!!
mr arnold being really hyper: -I’ll kick you in the face —you’ll get fired - I don’t need this job i can work at a gas station!
mr allex teaches a crap subject
alexia: quick help! - minesweeper
bulemic barbie
i need to throw up, wait first i need to look at rachelle’s face (stephanie)
we’re not all as talented as rachelle
setting the science sink on fire
setting match tins on fire
talia: love love love!
mock!
bother!
pontoon feet [rachelle]
model (kleenex, knife vs spoon) and emo (knife vs spoon) skits
mr arnold making fun of ted and sawyer
shrubber/guy who’s being repressed (DENNIS!)
peace = kyla trying to flick people off
musical cushions at anna’s house with rachelle (strip)
tallyho!
wild mtn w/ annie: car games, wrong bathroom, hand me some tp!
spending $5 worth of quarters on car games at plymouth cinema 12
i’m a square!
ninjaing! “me too!”
non-flexible losers club
twins!
get your shoes outta my feet!
i make up for it by saying brotha and dude (rachelle)
rachelle cutting herself on the gazebo - those things are sharp
rachelle’s sharpie tattoos - rebel
mr allex’s creepy laugh
the sound of music - the horror, the horror
this portion of the test is lacking in punctuation (stephanie)
lafayette club w/ annika: torpedoes and the stupid slide
ulan in the sprinkler
when anni got stuck in my tree
making annika’s sweet sound of music dress
kaylinn failing her permit test
attempting to fix the sweet dress when the bust ripped
prairie fire sucks - pirates with ghetto shorts, that nasty song and plastic swords, when that kid dropped his sword in the orchestra pit and we had to get it, anchor tattoos, “lol u have a nice butt” sent to kaylinn’s home phone, the hoopla dance!
how do you suck at life? - well if you’re a vampire you technically do suck at life
being morbid when emily’s happy
get the psycho off my arm
stomping around the halls - act like we’re normal! (rachelle)
when the exit sign in the basement fell down and somebody stole it

Inside Jokes & Quotes: 2005

talia apple bobbing —-> submerged
when anna’s brother was doing embroidery
german party!
chad and cindy in cincinati
bastian ist sehr geil
when tj ran away from marika
falling flat on my face when i stepped on my foot in performing arts
mine and annika’s rugby attempt (not a recipe for disaster but a cookbook)
tackle football in gym (kaylinn being flung by kyla, the day it was really wet)